I never post anything personal in this blog, I don't know why. But yesterday I went through an experience that kept me up at night and that sparked various arguments, discussions and controversy. Which is an experience I would like to share with whomever may want to read.
Preface:
Yesterday 23/5/2017 I had an experience I've never had before in my life, someone hated me because of what I said on stage. Now I'm gonna be a little bit up close and personal and also as objective as I can in this post, It's gonna be a long and personal one so tread lightly. Through out this narrative I'll be writing transcripts of what I said on stage.
Recently I've been going through quite a bit of turmoil. I lost my job, I had a few very bad run ins with some ladies which broke my heart and I generally felt bad about my self. Which is saying a lot because I generally enjoy who I am and what I do and have a happy-go-lucky attitude towards life. With the exception of course of when I write about suicide, or discrimination, or death.....you know the usual stuff. Anyways I was feeling bad. So I did what I do when I'm feeling bad, I watched stand up comedy.
Now I watch stand up comedy like it's my religion, I watch it when I'm ill, when I'm tired, when I'm happy, when I'm sad. In sickness and in health.... I do. And of course as a comic my self it inspires me to write jokes, which always makes me feel better. And since I had a few bad run ins with the ladies lately I wrote a few jokes about women and this is where things got interesting.
I'll admit to this. I wrote that material not from a place where I usually write my material. I wrote it from that dark place where we all go to when we get hurt. You know that place, we all go to it, I've seen numerous people go to it.
It's the place where someone hurts you and you go to "It's them, they're horrible people and they should be ashamed of themselves. I'm certain they do all this time and they're a horrendous existence."
Now that place isn't a place where generally comedy comes from. But to be honest I've gotten some pretty good material out of there, like when I talk about my parents for example or about being Syrian or short! So I've written some material about ladies and I will not deny this, it made me feel good to take it out of my chest and put it on paper. But most of it was still in my chest so I needed to put it on stage.
The events of "THE NIGHT!" :
I went to a spoken word event in which usually every body is praised for their bravery and being themselves. Which I completely and absolutely agree with. And I think women should be complimented just for going outside because the world is sadly so unsafe for them and I said that on stage. That being said, because of the amount of hurt I was feeling I felt like a simple truth applied and should always apply because it's the truth and the truth was as I said on stage
"Women are not perfect! Not because they're women because they're human! Don't you think a woman ever forgot her keys? Or got drunk and texted an EX? Or farted in an elevator? Can we agree that women aren't perfect?"
And the crowd was dead silent........ not even a single one of them said yes. Which stirred an anger in me I've never felt before. How is it possible that in a group of almost 50 adults not a single one of them would agree with a single, simple fact? Now when I discussed this later with the intelligent people I keep around me whom I call friends. They said that they didn't agree because they didn't know how this information will be used. Or where I'm going with this. But to me it was a simple fact that was stated, where can I possibly go with this? I stated a fact that people aren't perfect. And I eradicated sexism from it by saying (It's because they're human) right then and there admitting that no one is perfect. But the crowd pulled back and no one answered. So I thought I owed them an explanation, I thought I owed them an introduction to my self so I said :
"Physically women feel unsafe and are in danger all the time. Which makes me feel bad and I sympathize with you"
Now for those of you who know me, and a lot of them did, they know how I feel about women, they know that I stand up for women.
Sexism : ingrained and institutionalized prejudice against or hatred of women;misogyny.
That's one definition of sexism on dictionary.com. Now there were people in that crowd who knew it's impossible that I'm a misogynist! Even if they didn't know me they heard what I said, they literally just heard me say I sympathize with you. And for those who know me they know that I put my self in physical danger to protect a female friend of mine. She was drunk and being groped, so I put my self between her and the man. Who was twice my size because I'm a small fellow, but I stood there and said "you gotta get through me first." I've always had a thing for the dramatic. Anyways after I said that in the set, I asked if they agreed with me on this. But they still didn't answer... They didn't agree with me that I sympathize with them which made feel hurt.
Now as a writer and an actor my emotions take the best of me sometime so I got a little emotional. Because women hurt me so much, intentionally or unintentionally, in the past few weeks that I needed someone to sympathize with me. But I got nothing. So I started the bit which I'll write down here
"Emotionally women are devious and evil. I've seen a woman walk into a man's life, assassinate his sexual identity, murder him as a human, cripple his ability to love or be loved and walk the other side un-fucking-touched. While wearing high heels. Women are so powerful that they can hurt a man while telling them that they like him, they can say 'I like you as a friend' and it's like a harpoon to the chest. And the scariest part is that they're actually trying not to hurt him. A woman can hurt you while trying not to hurt you! that is terrifying! That is some superman shit right there. I've seen women manipulate men into changing careers which changed the course of history."
And here's the main part of the material. The part which raised the question which got talked about for hours afterwards. Was it sexist? Was it comedic? Was it true?
Let's break it down:
Sexism: discrimination or devaluation based on a person's sex or gender, as in restricted job opportunities, especially such discrimination directed against women.
Was it sexist?
A: I didn't say that women don't have rights.
B: I didn't say that women should be treated differently.
C: I didn't say that women shouldn't have jobs.
D: I didn't say that men are better than women in anyway.
E: I didn't say that men don't manipulate women.
F: I didn't say that men are innocent in all of this.
So I didn't discriminate on women based on their sex or gender. Which is the definition of sexism.
Was it comedic?
I don't know that's for you to decide. Depends on your sense of humor, what you find funny etc..
Was it true?
Did I see women destroy men emotionally?
Yes I did. I've sat up with men through weeks while they tried to recover emotionally from an emotional shock that a woman caused. I've seen men being crippled by the friend zone. Which is again and as I said it's not the woman's fault. They hurt men while trying not to hurt them.
Did I see women manipulate men out of their career?
Yes I did. So many times I've seen men abandon their dreams for a woman. I've also seen women abandon their dreams for a man and I reprimanded both.
Did I get hurt by women who tried not to hurt me?
Yes I did. More than I can count I've been hurt by women who were nothing but nice to me, but I got hurt because they felt differently about me that I wished they did. Again women has been in that situation too.
Conclusion:
I would like to say something. I was simply talking about my experience. I don't think there's anything wrong with what women do to men, because men have done much much worse to women. The reason I talked about what I talked about is to try to comically view a social interaction, and if you read the transcript you'll see that I haven't used the word wrong once. Now I said that women are evil but common the word "Evil" is comical. No one has ever hurt me by calling me evil. I also said women are devious. Which was a bit of an overkill and I feel that it clouded the rest of the performance or made everything else I said sound worse. And that and only that is the only statement I will apologize for.
Women I don't think what you do is wrong, I find the social interaction of how it happens funny. I condone your behavior sometimes because men can be mean and destructive too and I think that sometimes it's mean and destructive because we're all flawed. I didn't say what I said to try and change it. When I make jokes about me being short or being Syrian I don't want to change that into being tall or change world politics ,I just find the situation funny.
So let's agree to a conclusion, I'm not gonna write the conclusion my self because that's a bed self-evaluating and that's just dumb. So the facts are there. I talked about my experience with women, I said what's in my heart and I'm not gonna lie it felt good.
Preface:
Yesterday 23/5/2017 I had an experience I've never had before in my life, someone hated me because of what I said on stage. Now I'm gonna be a little bit up close and personal and also as objective as I can in this post, It's gonna be a long and personal one so tread lightly. Through out this narrative I'll be writing transcripts of what I said on stage.
Recently I've been going through quite a bit of turmoil. I lost my job, I had a few very bad run ins with some ladies which broke my heart and I generally felt bad about my self. Which is saying a lot because I generally enjoy who I am and what I do and have a happy-go-lucky attitude towards life. With the exception of course of when I write about suicide, or discrimination, or death.....you know the usual stuff. Anyways I was feeling bad. So I did what I do when I'm feeling bad, I watched stand up comedy.
Now I watch stand up comedy like it's my religion, I watch it when I'm ill, when I'm tired, when I'm happy, when I'm sad. In sickness and in health.... I do. And of course as a comic my self it inspires me to write jokes, which always makes me feel better. And since I had a few bad run ins with the ladies lately I wrote a few jokes about women and this is where things got interesting.
I'll admit to this. I wrote that material not from a place where I usually write my material. I wrote it from that dark place where we all go to when we get hurt. You know that place, we all go to it, I've seen numerous people go to it.
It's the place where someone hurts you and you go to "It's them, they're horrible people and they should be ashamed of themselves. I'm certain they do all this time and they're a horrendous existence."
Now that place isn't a place where generally comedy comes from. But to be honest I've gotten some pretty good material out of there, like when I talk about my parents for example or about being Syrian or short! So I've written some material about ladies and I will not deny this, it made me feel good to take it out of my chest and put it on paper. But most of it was still in my chest so I needed to put it on stage.
The events of "THE NIGHT!" :
I went to a spoken word event in which usually every body is praised for their bravery and being themselves. Which I completely and absolutely agree with. And I think women should be complimented just for going outside because the world is sadly so unsafe for them and I said that on stage. That being said, because of the amount of hurt I was feeling I felt like a simple truth applied and should always apply because it's the truth and the truth was as I said on stage
"Women are not perfect! Not because they're women because they're human! Don't you think a woman ever forgot her keys? Or got drunk and texted an EX? Or farted in an elevator? Can we agree that women aren't perfect?"
And the crowd was dead silent........ not even a single one of them said yes. Which stirred an anger in me I've never felt before. How is it possible that in a group of almost 50 adults not a single one of them would agree with a single, simple fact? Now when I discussed this later with the intelligent people I keep around me whom I call friends. They said that they didn't agree because they didn't know how this information will be used. Or where I'm going with this. But to me it was a simple fact that was stated, where can I possibly go with this? I stated a fact that people aren't perfect. And I eradicated sexism from it by saying (It's because they're human) right then and there admitting that no one is perfect. But the crowd pulled back and no one answered. So I thought I owed them an explanation, I thought I owed them an introduction to my self so I said :
"Physically women feel unsafe and are in danger all the time. Which makes me feel bad and I sympathize with you"
Now for those of you who know me, and a lot of them did, they know how I feel about women, they know that I stand up for women.
Sexism : ingrained and institutionalized prejudice against or hatred of women;misogyny.
That's one definition of sexism on dictionary.com. Now there were people in that crowd who knew it's impossible that I'm a misogynist! Even if they didn't know me they heard what I said, they literally just heard me say I sympathize with you. And for those who know me they know that I put my self in physical danger to protect a female friend of mine. She was drunk and being groped, so I put my self between her and the man. Who was twice my size because I'm a small fellow, but I stood there and said "you gotta get through me first." I've always had a thing for the dramatic. Anyways after I said that in the set, I asked if they agreed with me on this. But they still didn't answer... They didn't agree with me that I sympathize with them which made feel hurt.
Now as a writer and an actor my emotions take the best of me sometime so I got a little emotional. Because women hurt me so much, intentionally or unintentionally, in the past few weeks that I needed someone to sympathize with me. But I got nothing. So I started the bit which I'll write down here
"Emotionally women are devious and evil. I've seen a woman walk into a man's life, assassinate his sexual identity, murder him as a human, cripple his ability to love or be loved and walk the other side un-fucking-touched. While wearing high heels. Women are so powerful that they can hurt a man while telling them that they like him, they can say 'I like you as a friend' and it's like a harpoon to the chest. And the scariest part is that they're actually trying not to hurt him. A woman can hurt you while trying not to hurt you! that is terrifying! That is some superman shit right there. I've seen women manipulate men into changing careers which changed the course of history."
And here's the main part of the material. The part which raised the question which got talked about for hours afterwards. Was it sexist? Was it comedic? Was it true?
Let's break it down:
Sexism: discrimination or devaluation based on a person's sex or gender, as in restricted job opportunities, especially such discrimination directed against women.
Was it sexist?
A: I didn't say that women don't have rights.
B: I didn't say that women should be treated differently.
C: I didn't say that women shouldn't have jobs.
D: I didn't say that men are better than women in anyway.
E: I didn't say that men don't manipulate women.
F: I didn't say that men are innocent in all of this.
So I didn't discriminate on women based on their sex or gender. Which is the definition of sexism.
Was it comedic?
I don't know that's for you to decide. Depends on your sense of humor, what you find funny etc..
Was it true?
Did I see women destroy men emotionally?
Yes I did. I've sat up with men through weeks while they tried to recover emotionally from an emotional shock that a woman caused. I've seen men being crippled by the friend zone. Which is again and as I said it's not the woman's fault. They hurt men while trying not to hurt them.
Did I see women manipulate men out of their career?
Yes I did. So many times I've seen men abandon their dreams for a woman. I've also seen women abandon their dreams for a man and I reprimanded both.
Did I get hurt by women who tried not to hurt me?
Yes I did. More than I can count I've been hurt by women who were nothing but nice to me, but I got hurt because they felt differently about me that I wished they did. Again women has been in that situation too.
Conclusion:
I would like to say something. I was simply talking about my experience. I don't think there's anything wrong with what women do to men, because men have done much much worse to women. The reason I talked about what I talked about is to try to comically view a social interaction, and if you read the transcript you'll see that I haven't used the word wrong once. Now I said that women are evil but common the word "Evil" is comical. No one has ever hurt me by calling me evil. I also said women are devious. Which was a bit of an overkill and I feel that it clouded the rest of the performance or made everything else I said sound worse. And that and only that is the only statement I will apologize for.
Women I don't think what you do is wrong, I find the social interaction of how it happens funny. I condone your behavior sometimes because men can be mean and destructive too and I think that sometimes it's mean and destructive because we're all flawed. I didn't say what I said to try and change it. When I make jokes about me being short or being Syrian I don't want to change that into being tall or change world politics ,I just find the situation funny.
So let's agree to a conclusion, I'm not gonna write the conclusion my self because that's a bed self-evaluating and that's just dumb. So the facts are there. I talked about my experience with women, I said what's in my heart and I'm not gonna lie it felt good.
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