During the holiday season I always feel something odd. A feeling of exclusion almost.
Today is for many people a very important day, it's a day where you get with family and exchange gifts with friends, spread love, eat a lot and buy cheap electronics. But growing up in Syria, today was just another Tuesday where you went to sleep at 9pm to go to school the next day.
I've always the idea of a holiday but I couldn't really identify with any. When I was in Syria yes I of course celebrated the two Muslim holidays Eid al fitir and Eid al adha. But since I left Syria about 6 years ago I just couldn't connect with these holidays anymore. My family wasn't around me, and I became an Athiest and felt very removed from the nostalgia of a religious holiday.
Many people I know who are western Athiests still celebrate Christmas which I find wonderful because it proves that some tradition bring us closer together no matter what. But unfortunately it's hard to include yourself in a tradition when you didn't have it growing up.
I just want to say that being away from home is hard but what's harder is feeling like you have no home. I can't really call Syria my home unfortunately, yes I grew up there but I was mostly unaccepted by my peers because of they called my "Western ideology"
I remember one time I told my father that I believe in equality amongst religions and he yelled at me and told me that the only religion is Islam. How could I fell home in an environment like that?
And since then I've been on the move so much that I barely got a chance to breath. I have been in Istanbul for 4 years now and while I do feel very comfortable and safe in the city. I know the ins and outs of it, I have fantastic friends and an amazing job. But I just don't feel like it's home. That's why I can't enjoy the holidays here either (The Bayrams).
The silver lining is that my friends here accept me the way I am and never judge me. While most people need special days to have fun and get together with the people they love for me any Wednesday can turn into the best night ever because of the people around me.
So for those of you enjoying the holidays, Merry Christmas! And for those of you away from home, just look at the people around you. If you have people who'll pick you up when you fall down, well that's your own Christmas!
Today is for many people a very important day, it's a day where you get with family and exchange gifts with friends, spread love, eat a lot and buy cheap electronics. But growing up in Syria, today was just another Tuesday where you went to sleep at 9pm to go to school the next day.
I've always the idea of a holiday but I couldn't really identify with any. When I was in Syria yes I of course celebrated the two Muslim holidays Eid al fitir and Eid al adha. But since I left Syria about 6 years ago I just couldn't connect with these holidays anymore. My family wasn't around me, and I became an Athiest and felt very removed from the nostalgia of a religious holiday.
Many people I know who are western Athiests still celebrate Christmas which I find wonderful because it proves that some tradition bring us closer together no matter what. But unfortunately it's hard to include yourself in a tradition when you didn't have it growing up.
I just want to say that being away from home is hard but what's harder is feeling like you have no home. I can't really call Syria my home unfortunately, yes I grew up there but I was mostly unaccepted by my peers because of they called my "Western ideology"
I remember one time I told my father that I believe in equality amongst religions and he yelled at me and told me that the only religion is Islam. How could I fell home in an environment like that?
And since then I've been on the move so much that I barely got a chance to breath. I have been in Istanbul for 4 years now and while I do feel very comfortable and safe in the city. I know the ins and outs of it, I have fantastic friends and an amazing job. But I just don't feel like it's home. That's why I can't enjoy the holidays here either (The Bayrams).
The silver lining is that my friends here accept me the way I am and never judge me. While most people need special days to have fun and get together with the people they love for me any Wednesday can turn into the best night ever because of the people around me.
So for those of you enjoying the holidays, Merry Christmas! And for those of you away from home, just look at the people around you. If you have people who'll pick you up when you fall down, well that's your own Christmas!
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