"Searching for meaning is philosophical suicide! How does anyone do anything while knowing the fleeting nature of existence." ~ The Good Place (TV Show)
I was watching that show and It reminded of phrases I heard from so many humans at various occasions, sentences such as
"I don't want to kill my self, I want to never have existed."
"I want to live, but I want to live without the existence of time."
"Sometimes I feel like me being a human was forced upon me and it's not fair."
I spend 99 percent of my time thinking about the philosophy of existence of life. I've talked no less than 10 people out of an existential crisis. I my self have found my self falling into the bottomless pit of thinking about death.
So here I write my thoughts on that pesky little existential crisis we have every now and again.
The way I see life is not through the lens of optimism or the shade of pessimism. I don't think the world a good or a bad place. I don't think life in its self is a privilege as it's given to an uncountable number of beings. I do wake up every day amazed though. Not by the thought of being human, but by a single thought.
13.7 billion years ago, a dense hot mess of energy exploded and matter and anti-matter started colliding and cancelling each other out. Hydrogen was born and formed stars that cooked it into heavier elements. Those stars, the size of which we can't even begin to fathom, exploded shattering their guts into the universe and forming other stars, which cooked other elements and exploded and collided and shattered. Stars the size of a million suns collapsing on themselves creating points of infinite densities, so dense that light can't even go through. Those points of infinite density being the centre of limitless galaxies, dancing around each other with a cosmic rhythm that is orchestrated by gravity. Planets swirling around suns at different speeds and distances, being bombarded by cosmic phenomena feeding them the elements that lead to the existence of what we call life. Events on a massive scale leading all the way back to the beginning of the universe. The atoms that make up my body were cooked in stars so far back in history that I can only imagine how long ago it was. I wasn't the mistake of two humans copulating, I have been billions of years in the making. Galaxies send their light to me from billions of years ago and I virtually travel through time. For every 10 billion anti-matter particle there was a 10 billion and one matter particle..... for reasons no one knows.
That's what keeps me going. The fact that I get think about that, the fact that I know that I wasn't a mistake made by two humans copulating, that every atom that makes me had been billions of years in the making. The universe made me so I can think about and understand it. I'm those stars and those particles and those black holes and that gravity and those cosmic events. Through some impossibility of matter winning over anti-matter I get to be atoms created in the beginning of the universe in the shape of human consciousness so it would try to understand itself. Through impossibility... I'm the universe trying to understand itself. Through impossibility..... I can think and feel and love and cry and even die. I live to think of the impossibility which made everything what it is. I live to think of The impossibility of "I am".
I was watching that show and It reminded of phrases I heard from so many humans at various occasions, sentences such as
"I don't want to kill my self, I want to never have existed."
"I want to live, but I want to live without the existence of time."
"Sometimes I feel like me being a human was forced upon me and it's not fair."
I spend 99 percent of my time thinking about the philosophy of existence of life. I've talked no less than 10 people out of an existential crisis. I my self have found my self falling into the bottomless pit of thinking about death.
So here I write my thoughts on that pesky little existential crisis we have every now and again.
The way I see life is not through the lens of optimism or the shade of pessimism. I don't think the world a good or a bad place. I don't think life in its self is a privilege as it's given to an uncountable number of beings. I do wake up every day amazed though. Not by the thought of being human, but by a single thought.
13.7 billion years ago, a dense hot mess of energy exploded and matter and anti-matter started colliding and cancelling each other out. Hydrogen was born and formed stars that cooked it into heavier elements. Those stars, the size of which we can't even begin to fathom, exploded shattering their guts into the universe and forming other stars, which cooked other elements and exploded and collided and shattered. Stars the size of a million suns collapsing on themselves creating points of infinite densities, so dense that light can't even go through. Those points of infinite density being the centre of limitless galaxies, dancing around each other with a cosmic rhythm that is orchestrated by gravity. Planets swirling around suns at different speeds and distances, being bombarded by cosmic phenomena feeding them the elements that lead to the existence of what we call life. Events on a massive scale leading all the way back to the beginning of the universe. The atoms that make up my body were cooked in stars so far back in history that I can only imagine how long ago it was. I wasn't the mistake of two humans copulating, I have been billions of years in the making. Galaxies send their light to me from billions of years ago and I virtually travel through time. For every 10 billion anti-matter particle there was a 10 billion and one matter particle..... for reasons no one knows.
That's what keeps me going. The fact that I get think about that, the fact that I know that I wasn't a mistake made by two humans copulating, that every atom that makes me had been billions of years in the making. The universe made me so I can think about and understand it. I'm those stars and those particles and those black holes and that gravity and those cosmic events. Through some impossibility of matter winning over anti-matter I get to be atoms created in the beginning of the universe in the shape of human consciousness so it would try to understand itself. Through impossibility... I'm the universe trying to understand itself. Through impossibility..... I can think and feel and love and cry and even die. I live to think of the impossibility which made everything what it is. I live to think of The impossibility of "I am".
No comments:
Post a Comment