High thoughts of a universe

"First the big bang then stars exploded cooking ligh elements into heavy element. elements all ove

then stars collapsed to have a blackhole. Blackhole pulled a lot of celestial objectst and created galasies, galaxy accelarete because other stars explode and push them away more stars explode and more collapse making more blackholes and pushing farth

that's why stars accelatet, they move faster because stars are still exploding

If all stars that exploded were placed before galaxy, which makes sense according to E=mc2
i.e: the more energy you had (heat) which if you're closer to the centre of the big bang you'll have more, then the stars will explode closer to the centres and push galaxies further.. what we now attribute to dark energy

why haven't we seen the explosion? A: amongst the many light the small explosions are not visible B: they exploded but they look still lit because of the fact the the light from their explosion hasn't reached us yet

C: the explosions happens the same time stars form thus looking as if fading and appearing again

That's why gravity is weaker, all these explosions pulling away black holes away from us, and since gravity is infinite at a centre of a blackhole those blackholes are pulling us towards them and we try to fight that, so most of the gravity is spent towards not flying into a blackhole allowing the other forces to work as strongly as they are, because gravity is doing the work for them and they get to focus on bonding elements together and whatnot.

how to unite gravity with other forces? since gravity is much weaker only becaus it's fighting the rapid expansion of the universe, if we were able in a lab to isolate that (apply a force so gravity can feel free to not fight black holes) we can see what that would like, however gravity is infinite at the center of a blackhole, so that would create infinite gravity and kill us all

gravity is not weaker, it literally can reach infinity which makes it the strongest, the problem is, if unleashed it will swallw us all, it's literally the strongest force in the univere, capable of destroying space its self

what happened before the big bang? A: multiverse B: Gravity, gravity has always been there, it became infinite and exploded C: our universe is the only matter that survived without antimatter from another universe and so on

D: a star from another universe

Comedy for me ...... A personal story about Syriasly..

The 8th of September of 2017... That' A date that has an amount of meaning that can't be put into words.

I sat backstage with an interviewer asking me questions about comedy, I was so nervous and excited I honestly don't know what I answered.

But first let me take you back a little bit, to a few years ago....  The 8th of May of 2014:

I had been riding around my bike about a week earlier and wandered into this comedy cafe who had an open mic in a week. I walked in and wrote down my name, and I'll always remember the feeling I had.

"I can do this, it's ok. I have some friends here and it's low stakes, if it doesn't work it doesn't work you know. Oh my god he's calling my name, why did I agree to do this? It's fine just focus... ok you should start talking now... ok I'm talking... holy shit no one is laughing...... just go on keep talking oh wait! Holy shit they're laughing! This feels awesome! Keep talking make another joke, oh my god they're clapping... ok keep going and the show is over, wait I am out of material was that long enough, oh yeah the red light is here ok it's good... end on a laugh.... and boom!" 

I walked down stage people were giving me high five, I got a hug there, a fist pump there. I went out of the room, sat down and had a smile on my face of which I was very aware.

"What is this feeling I have? How can I be this happy, this isn't happiness this is euphoria.. this is... abnormal. This is it! Right now I know what I want to do with my life! I wanna make people laugh, It's a bit premature to say this but I don't think I can not do this again... I HAVE to do this again and again and again.... I'm in love right now"

And what followed that moment were years of writing, re-writing, and performing and rejections... god so many rejections especially as a Syrian stand up comedian . life came by and yanked me away from comedy for almost a full year but the flame never died... It never could.

The thought that I can get people from different cultures, different worlds, and different societies under one world and say something to them that makes them all laugh.... I feel like I'm unifying humanity in a concept of thought and happiness. When they look at me and I hear their laughter... I shiver at the beauty that's being created within that moment.

So if you ask me about Comedy I'll tell you what Comedy is.

Comedy is a school of thought, it's the school of thought that show it doesn't matter where you come from, who you are, what you believe in, when you laugh you laugh with one heart.

That is why I fought through every no, I fought through every "Focus on school this is just hobby." through every "You know how hard it is to make it in this business?" Through every "Your hobby won't pay to the bills."

And through all that I never had a doubt that for me Stand-Up Comedy is not a hobby, it's not a job, it's not even a passion. It's a calling. 

And finally on the 8th of September of 2017 I was ready to share my special with people and I called it Syriasly

http://yabangee.com/syriasly-stand-special-yota-sahnesi/

let me share with you my stream of consciousness throughout that day

"oh my god it's here, it's here it's here it's here. I'm doing this, this is real I'm actually doing this. How long is left? oh daym there's only an hour left, is everything set up does the sound work are there people? where is everybody? oh no people came what if they don't like it? they'll like it! I'm fine, I'm fine.... I haven't felt in this in so long, this is better than anything I can imagine. Ok they want to interview me, they're asking me questions I should probably answer, I don't even know what i'm talking about... oh my god I heard my name called to the stage... I can hear my heart beating in my head. I'm on stage, they're looking at me. The music is playing..... this is what it feels like then, to know that your life has amounted to something, ok go to the mic, hold the mic up.....It's show time!"

I don't remember the event completely, I was so in the zone that I just let the deepest part of my brain, the one that longs for comedy and helps me define my self take over, and I talked and they laughed, all of them laughed, different people, different ages, different beliefs and they all laughed and they clapped. At that moment, in that theatre, people were united by laughter and I felt like if I never do anything again, if all I did with my life was to unite these people with laughter until that roof, that means my life has been  meaningful.

So I'll always do comedy, I'll always unite people, I'll always crave for laughter and enjoy the smiles. Because for me... it's a calling.   

My sane search for insanity (Part 2)

"They talk to me," said Eugene Hadel. "they choose me out of all the others."

I liked Eugene, he was a smart fellow, worked for a tech company as a coding expert. His boss started getting suspicious when he started inserting puzzles inside his codes. The boss thought it was a joke at first until Eugene started drawing jigsaw puzzle pieces randomly around his office. He has never been violent all he really needs is a puzzle and he's fine, he's done over 50 in the three months he's been here.

"Do they tell you anything specific?" I asked.

"They said you'll say that, you see you don't understand, only I do." He said.

I've lost count of how many clients of mine used the phrase "Only I understand." it was almost as if a door has been opened in their mind that made them believe that they transcended into a higher level of understanding. I sometimes think that they actually have. I find my self always questioning if what we call insanity is just the next step in evolution. I'm certain if a scientist from our time were to travel just 50 years back and show the scientific prowess that we achieved he might be burned for witchcraft. What my client said next was one of the most interesting things I heard a client say

"You see there is nothing specific, everything is connected it's all all. We're all just one big puzzle, fitting together perfectly without a single hitch. Do you know that the universe is expanding?"

"Wow! Yes I do know that. How is that related?"

"The "universe" isn't expanding at all. it's all just a big puzzle still being put together. And each of those pieces is a puzzle and it goes on and on and on and on. You see people think it's atoms and explosions and physics.... idiots. They're just not listening."

"I'm listening to you, and let me tell you a secret. People don't listen to me either, so how about we make a deal, you listen to me and I listen to you?"

"I would like that he said."

I convinced to take his medicine and participate in some activities with the other patients. But what he said about the universe astounded me, for him to lucidly understand that the universe is expanding and that people attribute it to laws of physics.... I wonder about the depth of his knowledge. I tried to pull it out of him but for the rest of the session he only talked about the puzzle he's doing and how it's nicer to him than the last one he did.

I watch him leave and with him his reality, the clock ticked again and death smiled at me. He reassured me of my sanity as a different reality entered my door......